I Was There

In the spring of 1996, when I was twenty, my father told us he wanted to go to a conference in Washington D.C. I didn't know why he was interested. My mother said it was called a "Back to Patriarchy" conference and that Dad wanted to go because he thought it might help him be a better father. I anticipated a long drive there, some very boring speakers droning on about who-knows-what and driving tired all night home.

I sat riveted to every word those men said. I had never heard these things. It was like a window was opened, and I could see for a long distance out over what I hadn't understood before.

What Those Speakers Said

The men there were Phil Lancaster, Doug Phillips and John Thompson. They talked about:

  • Fathers directing their household.
  • Gathering together in daily family worship.
  • Preparing sons and daughters for marriage and life purpose.
  • Building multi-generational family vision.
  • Steering sons away from college and the corporate mind-set and into apprenticeships and a family business.
  • Courtship versus dating.
  • Fathers bringing their hearts home from work.

I Was at War

At that time in my life, when I was in my later teens, I was going through conflicts in my life.

I had no clear goals for what I should do. My heart was a jumble of the values and truths I had been taught, but they didn't fit into a clear vision for my life. Should I go to college? Should I get a job with a corporation? Should I have a career? That's what everybody else does. What does God want me to do? Should I just leave everything here and go be a missionary somewhere far away? There are lots of good things I could do, but what can I really put my heart into? My parents didn't know what to tell me. I know they had intuitions in the back of their mind about children staying home 'till marriage, but I don't think they were confident enough to give that counsel. They thought vaguely I should do whatever I felt was best. But how was I to know what to do? I was a fool at the helm of my ship.

I was often angry with my father, but I didn't understand why. I did not realize all the destruction my anger was working in me or how desperately I needed a good relationship with my father.

I was selfish. I treated my siblings, especially my brother, badly. I got into bad moods when people didn't do what I thought they should. I couldn't see beyond the demands of my daily schedule and just enjoy where God had put me.

A root of my conflict was that I simply didn't understand what the family was, why God had created it, how He uses families as building blocks for the future, and what my place was in my family.

A Second Conference

This fall (1998) my family went to a follow-up conference where these speakers developed what they said further:

  • Men who put women and children first - the Titanic and the Burkenhead Drill.
  • Patriarchs are needed - men who stand for God, leading their family in righteous vision.
  • Rebuilding our family culture - a quiet family evening is the best society.
  • Activities have taken over relationships - we are too busy.
  • The Biblical model for how young men and women are to prepare for marriage and be given a mate.
  • How fathers need to break free from the time bind, entertainment slavery, the hectic lifestyle, tension between work and relationships, etc.
  • Living out from under the curse of debt.
  • God ought to bring judgment on our nation - we Christians should repent, turn to Him, and prepare for the future.

Now at Peace

Now I know what I want to be. I want to be a father. And I know who I am. I am the son of my parents and a servant of God.

I saw that if I was to be a man I needed to take responsibility for my actions and stop pointing my finger at everybody else. I should deny myself, and I should work strenuously towards the goals these men were holding up. I saw hope and something righteous to aim for.

My understanding of these issues sprouted that day at this conference. From that date it began to grow. But don't get the idea that all of my conflict has been resolved in a moment. My family has gone to several of these conferences now, and I am still growing.

The Defining Issue

I agree with Doug Philips. The family is the defining issue of our age. It is only by the hearts of fathers turning to their children, and children to their fathers, that we will understand the vision God has for His people in these times, and we will repair the ruins of our culture.

Resources

You can obtain tapes of the "Building A Family That Will Stand, I & II" (formerly called "Back to Patriarchy") conferences that were held here in Illinois from the following resources.

Vision Forum

8122 Datapoint Dr., #306
San Antonio, TX 78229
1-800-440-0022
www.visionforum.com

This is Doug Philips' new catalog which offers books and tapes that address critical issues concerning: family renewal, child discipleship, biblical patriarchy, godly education, Christ-centered apologetics, righteous government, and the providential hand of God in history.

Quit You Like Men

152 Maple Lane,
Harriman, TN 37748
1-423-346-7824
www.qylm.com

Watch ye, stand fast in the faith, Quit You Like Men, be strong. Let all your things be done with charity. I Cor 16:13-14. QYLM is a magazine devoted to the pursuit of this call - the pursuit of a life of true Christian manliness. My family has enjoyed this magazine for several years.

Comments

1 Rachel (March 06, 2009 at 4:27 AM)

Hi there.
Your link “www.qylm.com” doesn’t appear to work.
Sorry to be a bearer of bad news!